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User blog:Elilovesme2/Loving Through The Pain
chapter 1 : Happiness Comes With Time (this story would take place right after Eli tells claire his secret. its told in first person as if you were claire except i changed the name to Kylie because i like Kylie better ;) ) He's staring out the car window, lost in a horrific memory I suppose. "If she cant live her life and and get the chance to love because of me, I shouldnt have the right to either."he whispers to the glass. It kills me to see him like this. I just want to reach out and touch his face, comfort him, make it all better, make the pain go away. But I cant. Neither can he though, I hate to see him feel so guilty for something he didnt do and cant change. I dont know what to say so I just look down. I understand where hes coming from its just I like him so much and its painful to see him have so much self hate. He breaks the silence. "I cant just be friends with you, I like you so much it hurts. But I just...." he trails off not finishing his sentence. "So, this is why you were treating me like that, because-" "Because I didnt want you to get close to me 'cause if your close to me then I'm happy too..and I dont deserve to be happy." I just cant stand it! How could he think he doesnt deserve to be happy? Hes such a good person. He deserves to be so happy he cries. What he '''doesnt '''deserve is to feel this way. He messages his forehead with his fingers like he has a bad headache. This isnt the Eli I'm used to, this one is deep, and torchured. This one makes me want to cry. We're parked off to the side of the road just sitting there. I'm still a little shocked by the this secret hes kept from me. How could anyone keep that bottled inside for so long from someone theyre so close to? "You know you can tell me anything. You shouldnt have felt like you needed to keep it from me." I say staring at his faded jeans. "I didnt want you to see me as this horrible person. I didnt want you to think of me differently.......sorry." He mumbles and stares at my face. "I would '''never '''think of you that way, youre this amazing, outgoing, funny, understanding person and nothing could change that." "Not even if i killed -- " I interupt him because I know what hes going to say. "You didnt make her take the short but most dangerous route home, you didnt make the driver get disstracted for a split second to figit with the radio, you didnt hit her with your car! You didnt kill her Eli........you didnt." Theres another pause in the conversation. He looks so pained and upset, all i want to do is wrap him in my arms, fix his broken heart but i cant. I cant. So I do the only thing I can do to comfort him. I reach over and take his free hand thats resting on his leg in mine. He stares down at our hands for a second and squeezes mine tight before speaking again. "I want to be with you Ky, I really do but-" "But nothing, I never met Julia but...but dont you think shed want you to live your life? Be happy?" His eyes water but he doesnt cry. He keeps all the emotions bottled deep down. "I care too much about you to let you treat yourself this way." I whisper as I look up and into his big green eyes that are already staring down at me. "Maybe I just.....I dont know. I need a few days to really think everything through. But I do like you Kylie. I really do, I mean everything about you, " he half laughs "it drives me crazy." I smile and feel my cheeks blush. "But in a good way right?" I ask sheepishly. "A very, very good way." he smiles. "Then I'll wait for however long it takes." 17:37, August 20, 2010 (UTC)17:37, August 20, 2010 (UTC)17:37, August 20, 2010 (UTC)17:37, August 20, 2010 (UTC)17:37, August 20, 2010 (UTC)Elilovesme2 17:37, August 20, 2010 (UTC) When we get to my place I step out of Morty and lean against the car door. Eli gets out and walks around to stand beside me, leaning against the hood of the hearse. "Happiness will come with time, not everthing needs reason or rhyme." I say glancing down at his black sneakers." My grandmother used to say that to my mom when she was upset." "hmm...its cute." He smiles and walks me to the front door. " I'll try to remeber that." We stand there for a second on my porch. I reach out to fix the collar of his jacket, my thumb brushes against the base of his neck and he looks down with a smirk on his face. "So I guess I'll see ya tomorrow." I say. "I guess you will." He laughs and heads back to Morty. Category:Blog posts